Friendships are a significant part of our life stories, holding a unique place in our hearts. But what makes these connections so special? Let’s delve into the science behind friendships and observe how they play out in our lives.
Imagine designing your perfect friend, combining all the ideal qualities you desire in a companion. However, even this hypothetical friend might fall short when compared to a real-life best friend. A true friend can transform any situation into a joyous occasion, be it a chemistry lab or band practice. They are always there for you, especially during tough times, providing a listening ear and a comforting presence.
If you’ve ever felt that friendships formed during adolescence are particularly special, you’re not alone. The brain functions differently at various stages of life, leading to distinct manifestations of friendships during early childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Adolescence is a unique period when peer relationships take center stage. Thanks to the developing brain, teenagers experience changes in how they value, understand, and connect with friends.
Teenagers often seem inseparable from their friends. This phenomenon, described by scientists as a social reorientation, is due to changes in the brain’s reward center, known as the ventral striatum. Activation of this region makes social interactions enjoyable and motivates teenagers to spend more time with their peers.
Teenage friendships often feel more intimate than childhood friendships. This deeper connection is possible due to improvements in what scientists call Theory of Mind. This ability allows teenagers to understand others’ emotions, thoughts, motivations, and perspectives, leading to deeper connections.
Theory of Mind is the ability to understand others’ emotions, thoughts, motivations, and points of view, and to realize that they may differ from your own. This ability relies on the careful coordination of various brain regions, collectively referred to as the social brain.
While Theory of Mind begins to develop around 18 months, it continues to mature well into the teenage years and beyond. As a result, teenagers can better understand their friends’ perspectives, allowing for deeper connections to flourish.
In the closest friendships, it can almost feel as if you’re metaphysically connected—two bodies and minds, perfectly in sync. This phenomenon is what psychologists call interpersonal synchrony, which depends on the coordination of actions, emotions, physiology, and thoughts.
Interpersonal synchrony begins to show signs in infancy and continues to develop as we grow older and spend more time with our peers. This synchrony can be as simple as walking at the same pace as a friend or following the same path. In essence, you and your best friend may not only be on the same page but also scientifically, in step.
In conclusion, friendships, particularly those formed during adolescence, are unique and special due to various scientific factors. Understanding these factors can help us appreciate our friendships even more and nurture them for a lifetime.
Draw a map that represents your social network. Include your closest friends and the connections between them. Use different colors to indicate the strength of each friendship. This activity will help you visualize the importance and uniqueness of each relationship.
Imagine and describe your perfect friend. List the qualities that you think are most important in a friend. Then, compare this ideal friend to your real-life best friend and discuss how real friendships can be even more special.
In pairs or small groups, act out different friendship scenarios. For example, one person could be going through a tough time, and the other offers support. This will help you practice empathy and understand the importance of being there for your friends.
Participate in activities that enhance your Theory of Mind. For instance, read a short story and discuss the characters’ emotions, thoughts, and motivations. This will help you better understand your friends’ perspectives and deepen your connections.
Engage in activities that require coordination with a friend, such as mirror exercises where you mimic each other’s movements. This will help you experience the concept of interpersonal synchrony and understand how being in sync can strengthen friendships.
friendships – close relationships between people who have mutual affection and trust for each other – My friendships have been a source of great support and joy in my life.
tough times – difficult or challenging periods in one’s life – During tough times, having supportive friends can make all the difference in the world.
listening ear – someone who is willing to listen attentively and empathetically to another person’s thoughts and feelings – I’m grateful to have a friend who always provides a listening ear when I need to vent or share my worries.
comforting presence – someone who brings a sense of comfort and reassurance through their mere presence – My grandmother’s comforting presence always helps me feel safe and loved.
adolescent friendships – friendships formed during the stage of adolescence, typically between the ages of 10 to 19 – Adolescent friendships often play a crucial role in shaping one’s identity and social development.
manifestations – visible or tangible expressions or indications of something – The artist’s paintings are beautiful manifestations of her innermost thoughts and emotions.
social reorientation – the process of shifting one’s focus and priorities towards social interactions and relationships – Going to college often involves a social reorientation as students adapt to new friendships and social dynamics.
ventral striatum – a specific region within the reward center of the brain that is involved in processing reward and motivation – The ventral striatum plays a key role in the brain’s response to pleasurable experiences.
social interactions – exchanges and communications between individuals or groups of people – Engaging in positive social interactions can greatly enhance our well-being and happiness.
Theory of Mind – the ability to understand and attribute mental states, such as beliefs, desires, and intentions, to oneself and others – The development of Theory of Mind is an important milestone in a child’s cognitive and social development.
motivations – reasons or desires that drive a person to take action or pursue a goal – Understanding our motivations can help us make choices that align with our values and aspirations.
perspectives – individual viewpoints or ways of looking at and interpreting the world – It’s important to consider different perspectives when engaging in discussions or solving problems.
interpersonal synchrony – a phenomenon where individuals synchronize their actions, emotions, and physiology during social interactions – Interpersonal synchrony can be observed when a group of people dance together in perfect rhythm and harmony.
