Love is often described in terms of the heart, with phrases like heartwarming, heart-wrenching, and heartbreaking. However, the brain plays a crucial role in the experience of love. The journey from the first spark to the last tear is guided by a symphony of neurochemicals and brain systems.
As you begin to fall for someone, you may find yourself excessively daydreaming about them and wanting to spend more and more time together. This first stage of love is what psychologists call infatuation, or passionate love. Your new relationship can feel almost intoxicating, and when it comes to the brain, that’s not far from the truth. Infatuated individuals show increased activation in the ventral tegmental area (VTA), the reward-processing and motivation hub of the brain. This increased VTA activity is the reason love is not only euphoric but also draws you towards your new partner.
At this first stage, it may be hard to see any faults in your new perfect partner. This haze is thanks to love’s influence on higher cortical brain regions. Some newly infatuated individuals show decreased activity in the brain’s cognitive center, the prefrontal cortex. As activation of this region allows us to engage in critical thought and pass judgment, it’s not surprising we tend to see new relationships through rose-colored glasses.
While this first stage of love can be an intense rollercoaster of emotions and brain activity, it typically only lasts a few months, making way for the more long-lasting stage of love, known as attachment, or compassionate love. As your relationship develops, you may feel more relaxed and committed to your partner thanks in large part to two hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin. Known as pair-bonding hormones, they signal trust, feelings of social support, and attachment.
Further, oxytocin can inhibit the release of stress hormones, which is why spending time with a loved one can feel so relaxing. As early love’s suspension of judgment fades, it can be replaced by a more honest understanding and deeper connection. Alternatively, as your rose-colored glasses begin to lose their tint, problems in your relationship may become more evident.
No matter the reason a relationship ends, we can blame the pain that accompanies heartbreak on the brain. The distress of a breakup activates the insular cortex, a region that processes pain—both physical, like spraining your ankle, as well as social, like feelings of rejection. As days pass, you may find yourself once again daydreaming about or craving contact with your lost partner. The drive to reach out may feel overwhelming, like an extreme hunger or thirst.
When looking at photos of a former partner, heartbroken individuals again show increased activity in the VTA, the motivation and reward center that drove feelings of longing during the initial stages of the relationship. This emotional whirlwind also likely activates your body’s alarm system, the stress axis, leaving you feeling shaken and restless. As time goes on, higher cortical regions which oversee reasoning and impulse control, can pump the brakes on this distress and craving signaling. Activities like exercise, spending time with friends, or even listening to your favorite song can tame this heartbreak stress response, while also triggering the release of feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. And given time and support, most can heal and learn from even the most devastating heartbreak.
Imagine you are a neurochemical in the brain during different stages of love. Create a short skit or role-play with your classmates where each person represents a different neurochemical (e.g., dopamine, oxytocin). Act out the interactions and effects these chemicals have on behavior and emotions during infatuation, attachment, and heartbreak. This will help you understand the dynamic processes in the brain.
Create a visual diagram or infographic that explains the role of the ventral tegmental area (VTA) during the infatuation stage of love. Include how increased VTA activity affects emotions and behavior. Present your infographic to the class and explain how this brain region contributes to the euphoric feelings of new love.
Participate in a class debate on the topic: “Is love driven more by the heart or the brain?” Research both sides of the argument, focusing on the neurochemical and brain system influences discussed in the article. Use evidence from the article to support your points during the debate. This will help you critically analyze the role of the brain in love.
Conduct a simple experiment to understand the effects of oxytocin and vasopressin. For example, you could design a survey to measure feelings of trust and attachment in different social scenarios (e.g., spending time with friends, family, or a partner). Analyze the results and discuss how these hormones might influence your findings. This activity will give you practical insights into the attachment stage of love.
Organize a workshop where you and your classmates share and discuss different strategies for coping with heartbreak. Include activities like exercise, spending time with friends, and listening to music, as mentioned in the article. Create a guidebook or pamphlet summarizing these strategies and the science behind them. This will help you understand how to manage the stress and emotional pain associated with heartbreak.
neurochemicals – chemical substances that transmit signals between nerve cells in the brain – Dopamine and serotonin are examples of neurochemicals.
infatuation – an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something – She was infatuated with her favorite celebrity.
ventral tegmental area – a region in the midbrain that plays a role in the brain’s reward system – The ventral tegmental area is involved in the release of dopamine.
reward-processing – the brain’s ability to process and respond to rewarding stimuli – The reward-processing system is activated when we experience pleasure.
higher cortical brain regions – regions of the brain involved in higher-level cognitive functions such as reasoning and decision-making – The prefrontal cortex is one of the higher cortical brain regions.
the prefrontal cortex – the front part of the brain involved in complex cognitive processes such as decision-making and impulse control – Damage to the prefrontal cortex can affect a person’s ability to make rational decisions.
oxytocin – a hormone that plays a role in social bonding, trust, and maternal behavior – Oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone.”
vasopressin – a hormone involved in social bonding and aggression – Vasopressin is important for pair-bonding in some species.
pair-bonding hormones – hormones that contribute to the formation and maintenance of long-term romantic relationships – Oxytocin and vasopressin are examples of pair-bonding hormones.
insular cortex – a region of the brain involved in processing emotions and self-awareness – The insular cortex plays a role in the experience of empathy.
stress axis – a complex system involving the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal glands that regulates the body’s response to stress – The stress axis is involved in the production of stress hormones.
dopamine – a neurotransmitter involved in the brain’s reward and pleasure systems – Dopamine is often referred to as the “feel-good” neurotransmitter.
